U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
