He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
