Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
