i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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