My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
