Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
