do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
