Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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