it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
