i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
