She's JV to your varsity
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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