no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize