spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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