After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
should my penis look like a turkey
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
