he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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