using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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