White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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