when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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