So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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