Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
