Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize