It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
