I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
