thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
