I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
