I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize