Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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