There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
