actually, I'm a sock model
True but thats because hes a fetus.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
