god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
