Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
