During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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