Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
