She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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