i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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