the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
