she was so not down for the gang bang
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
