Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
