you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no you cant smoke seaweed
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
