dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My liver just had a heart attack.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
