I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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