So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
