you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize