Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize