Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
