She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
