uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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