I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
