Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hippo gnu deer
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
