Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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