I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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