I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
