sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
