just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
