he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
