Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
