One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I supernannyed him into submission
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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