I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
