Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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