If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
accomplished twins. life is a go
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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