i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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