my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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