I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
