Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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